So my attempt at being a blogger has been pretty pathetic recently, my passion for it has just kinda faded if I'm being honest. Sometimes life takes over. Priorities get muddled up, you worry about things that genuinely don't matter, you worry about things that actually do matter. I've generally been quite distracted. I wish I was naturally the kind of person that doesn't worry about things but I'm just not. I've had quite a tough year personally, but I'm not going to bore you will the details. So I'm just going to use this post to have a catch up and have a little ramble.
What have I been up to?
Within the last month I turned 24, left my old job, went to New York and started a new job. It's been a bit of a whirlwind and at times it's become a tad overwhelming. I'm a creature of habit and I know where I feel comfortable. That sometimes stops me from doing the things that I should be doing. I'm not one to 'take the bull my the horns' as they say. I was unhappy in my last job for several reasons and there was one day when i thought to myself 'you are the only person that is forcing you to be here'. So I decided I HAD to do something about it, so I did. I've not got my weekends back, there is nothing better than a Monday-Friday job in my eyes. The work-life balance has began to restore itself, whereas before it was pretty non-existent. Turning 24 came with a bit of a 'SHIT WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' moment, I no longer feel like I'm in my early twenties which scared the life out of me. New York was one of the most incredible experiences of my life and to have shared that with my oldest and best friend is something that I'll always cherish. I was care free for 5 days (other than airport nightmares) and got to experienced the city that I've always dreamt about visiting. I also went to London to meet up with some of my favourite bloggers, which was lovely. Sarah, Laura and pancakes, what more could I want?
I've joined Slimming World! I've lost 15 1/2 lbs in 2 weeks, which I'm incredibly happy with. I've become obsessed with the gym. CRAZY RIGHT? I go maybe 3-4 times a week and actually come out feeling amazing and so proud of myself. Weight is something I've struggled with for many years, particularly since losing my Mom. I've experienced extreme sadness and anxiety on and off since losing my Mom at the age of 13. There are some days when I can't breathe through the heart wrenching pain of losing the person closest to me. Grief is a funny thing, it can hit you at anytime and anywhere. The smallest trigger can ruin your mood. Whenever I miss my Mom, I get sad. Whenever I get sad, I eat. I've come to the realisation that food isn't going to fill that hole in my heart. It's more likely to harm me than make me feel better! Of course I will still enjoy food, I'm a massive foodie and love cooking, but I'm going to have a different relationship with food. It will be something that I enjoy, rather than something that I depend on to distract me from sad times.
I've got a bloody exciting couple of months planned! I'm the type of person that needs something to look forward to, so I'm pretty excited right now. I've been invited to the Bloggers Blog Awards in Leeds, I've got a spa break at Hoar Cross Hall and I'm going to London for a couple of days. That's all within the first week of October! Visiting New York last month has made me want to experience so many things. It's a really exciting concept for me, because it is forcing me to get out of my comfort zone and enjoy life. The most exciting upcoming event is that my big sister Kelly is getting married next August!!! I'm one of her bridesmaids (which also contributed to weight loss motivation). I can't wait for the moment when I see my sister walking down the aisle towards my bother in law because I know that it will truly be one of the happiest moments in her life. Seeing her happy makes me happy. I already know that I'm going to be spending the day as a blubbering mess. At the moment she's in the worrying stage of planning but soon enough none of that will matter and she will live her life with her husband and two beautiful children, I couldn't be happier for her.
In the past my blog has been pretty much just beauty, with the occasional baking post. I got really bored of it to be honest. Don't get me wrong I still bloody love all things beauty, but it's not the only thing that I love. So I'm going to branch out a bit. I plan on incorporating some healthy lifestyle posts, some weight loss updates, maybe a fashion post or two (totally not a trend setter btw) and whatever the heck I like really. I want my blog to become more of a record of my life kind of thing so that I can look back on it in a few years and be able to think more than 'I liked that particular lipstick at that particular time'. I want to meet more bloggers that I've got to know on Twitter and catch up with ones that I've already met. I basically need more hours in the day.
My last decision is to be happy.